Ending a relationship is never easy for couples. Men are hurt; women are hurt when the familiar sense of happiness is suddenly taken away from them due to a breakup.
Even when the breakup is expected, the grieving process often takes place. A UK study claimed that men suffer more lasting pain from ruptures than women. The question that naturally follows is: why is this so? How and why do men suffer more when they usually seem to come out of relationships faster and often painlessly?
According to an article published on Independent Ireland in 2017, it is not so controversial to say that men struggle more after a break-up than women because “emotionally, [men] often react badly to the great upheavals in life.
Moreover, [men’s] methods of dealing with changing circumstances are not always helpful. A survey conducted in 2015 by Men’s Health magazine confirms this claim. Investigators found going to the pub to be the best way to “get over” a breakup.
One of the reasons men suffer – the refusal to face what has happened and accept reality. “Men have grown up with the ‘men don’t cry’ attitude, and even though men may handle things differently, that doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same pain and pain as women,” explains Elaine Hanlon, Dublin-based counselor and psychotherapist.
“So for generations, men have learned to take away this pain and this hurt and to ‘be a man,’ which doesn’t leave much room for vulnerability. ”
On the other hand, women are generally more comfortable finding a shoulder to cry on and let it all go. “Women are often less dependent on their other half for emotional support – they usually have a larger circle of friends and confide in their families in ways that most men don’t,” says Hanlon.
Studies and women initiating the breakdown of the marriage
This explains why they grapple with reality and find the real strength to truly close one chapter and move on to the next faster. Women don’t suffer as much as men after breaking up because they often decide to break up more quickly than men.
“Studies show that more women than men are the initiators of marriage breakdown today,” Hanlon adds. This means that women have more time to anticipate upcoming events in love. They begin to prepare early for the results of separation from a partner.
By the time they are done with this phase, the man can start his own. Therefore, men need to begin dealing with breakups more expressively and healthily, rather than pretending to give a damn about the separation.