Educational opinions agree on the importance of childhood in building the future human personality, so if a child’s upbringing has any defect, this will inevitably lead to unsatisfactory results that will reflect negatively on the individual and society together, and the problem of shyness that some children suffer from, which parents and educators must confront and remedy. Many children grow up introverted, shy, and completely dependent on their parents, and stick to them, do not know how to face life alone, and this is clearly clear at the beginning of their contact with the outside world such as school, club, and street.
The shy child, doctors say, is a child who has a complex emotional and emotional state that involves a feeling of inferiority. He is a child hesitant in his decisions and is isolated, and his behavior is characterized by rigidity and lethargy.
Genetics is one of the major reasons for giving birth to a shy child. Among the major reasons are:
• Children who are deprived of their basic needs, such as food and drink, adequate sleeping place (housing), malnutrition, and poor health or medical treatment.
• Emotional deprivation: such as the absence of tenderness, warmth, and compassionate interaction with the child and putting him in our priority (not breastfeeding, a mother speaking on the phone and feeding her son with a bottle from afar. Mother feeding her child with a cigarette in her hand), it is necessary to address the child and inform him of the psychological and moral connection, especially with giving him a meal Or changing his clothes, the child can store these contents and reflects them at a stage in which he can speak and speak.
• Educational deprivation: We mean here the need to prepare the atmosphere and the requirements for the child to develop him intellectually and mentally, such as games, and the necessity for the parents to be present for a certain period during the day with the child in order to give him new educational standards.
• The mother’s increased fears in protecting her children, as these fears help in the characteristic’s growth of shyness in the psyche of her children, where children grow up and have a fear of everything that surrounds them, whether on the street or with their peers and they feel that the only safe place for them is They are next to the mother.
• The child’s physical or material defects, such as short stature, body wasting, poor hearing, obesity, or lack of spending are all things that lead to young people being shy in facing others.
• Excessive indulgence by parents of the child: such as the mother’s failure to allow her child to do the work that he can do; Believing that this treatment is a kind of compassion and mercy for the child and not being held accountable for him when he spoils the foundation of the house. This special treatment and excessive indulgence of the child by his parents, of course, will not be found outside the home, whether in the street, neighborhood, club, or school. This often leads to a child feeling very shy, especially if his desire is repelled and if he is punished for his actions with a reprimand, punishment, and reprimand.
• The most common group of introverts, children who suffer from cases of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse and neglect. This group is more exposed to this phenomenon, especially children who are sexually abused.
We can protect our children from feelings of shame and introversion by following the following teachings:
* Providing a calm atmosphere in the home away from tension and not exposing them to situations that affect them and make them anxious and insecure. This is achieved by avoiding cruelty in their dealings, and by avoiding quarrels and quarrels between parents.
* It is imperative that parents provide their young children with a reasonable amount of love, affection, and tenderness, and not criticize them and expose them to insult or contempt, especially in front of their friends or peers; Because severe criticism, insult or contempt – especially in front of their friends – the child feels unwanted and increases his shyness and introversion.
* Parents’ reluctance to show their excessive concern for their children, giving them the opportunity to rely on themselves, and facing some situations that may harm him with calm and confidence. He can protect himself in front of the danger he may face with his natural abundance.
* Accustom the child to social life, whether by hosting relatives at home or by participating in group games. Or accompanying them to their fathers and mothers in visiting friends and relatives, or gently asking them to speak in front of others, whether the person speaking to them is old or young, and this accustomed weakens in their souls the phenomenon of shyness and gains them self-confidence.
Here is my dear mother in particular:
* Praise all his social positives, such as helping one of his brothers, playing with them, or when he talks to others.
* Try to train him how to trust himself by talking about him in front of others with pride and pride, and letting him act in his affairs in his own way without telling him what he should do.
* Do not intervene to defend him in controversial situations between him and his brothers, but let him act on his own, even if he was beaten, and the only case in which you can intervene if there is a danger that one quarrel will be exposed to him.
* Encourage him to practice any kind of sport, this gives him physical fitness and increases his self-confidence.
* Encourage him – sometimes – to play with some of his relatives, neighbors, or colleagues in the younger school (only one or two years younger, maximum), so he learns leadership, not subordination.
* Try to act with your children, the guest game, each has a role, and through this game, you can teach your son how to behave well, whether he is a guest or a host.
* Give the child the freedom to choose his friends and how to dress him, even if you do not agree with this method.